Wednesday, June 30, 2004

If you're voting for a douchebag instead of Bush you better have your reasons
Alan Blevins explains them in these well written essays.

"No ones questioning your Patriotism"

.From the June 23 Hannity & Colmes:

COLMES: Are all the American people that don't support him [President George W. Bush] dumb?

COULTER: No. I think, as I indicated in my last book, they're traitors.
Nope, the spokeswoman for Republicans these days has taken it one step further

Sick, Stupid, Sad

Puppies killed with fireworks.

On a different topic about dogs, a study shows that dogs have evolved to understand people in a way wolves can't. Dogs can pick up on subtle visible cues given off by humans. They can read our eyes to know where we are looking. Dogs raised without humans still exhibit this trait while wolves raised around humans do not. Dogs and humans have lived and worked together for so long that its become a genetic trait.

I've always known dogs could sense our emotions and understand them. I believe some dogs that have a strong bond with thier owners can pick up on emotions that are not outwardly visible to people, maybe it's thier 6th sense at work. Another study shows that dogs can sense siezures in epileptic people.
I had a dog that understood the game Hide 'N Go Seek. The dog knew the names of my friends even though I never trained her to learn their names. She picked up on each friends name on her own. She also knew I was looking for something or someone just by observing my behavior. I would say "go find Jimmy" and even though I never tried to train her for this, she just knew what I meant. She would sniff out Jimmy and ignore any or my other friends. If I said "go find Bruce" she would find Bruce instead of Jimmy. Now that I think of it, she might have learned this trick so easily because its an adaptation of the game "hunt the cat". In this game, I'm armed with a squirt gun and the dog and I would hunt down my sisters cat. The dog knew the cats name and understood it was a hunt. She would lead me to the cat and I would blast it with the squirt gun.

I wonder if pampered decadent doggies could ever survive if left to thier own devices. Without a human to care for it could little FiFi survive on her own or with a pack of other stray dogs? I think dogs who live their life in complete dependence of humans, physically, mentally and emotionally are doomed in a world without humans. It's the old Nature VS Nurture debate. How much does nurture impact a dogs ability to funtion in the wild?

When my dog from above had puppies we used to take them to a field and play. Over time the puppies would get all spread out and as the puppies got further and further away in different directions I could sense the anxiety and worry in their Mom. She would look at me all pleading, wanting me to gather up her puppies. If I didn't she would make a weak attempt to pick up a puppy by the neck but she would be unsure of herself and not do it. Then she would look at me all pleading as if she were saying "you are the human, take charge and help me out".

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Wash Mouth with Soap!

The Democratic Underground thanks Cheney and honors him by picking him #1 in thier Top Ten List
"Fuck yourself." Yay! Fuck yourself! Fuck yourself! Go fuck yourself! Thank you, Dick Cheney, for lowering the bar for all of us partisan outsiders. Because if it's okay for the vice president to tell a senator to fuck himself on the floor of the Senate, it should be perfectly okay for a bunch of political hacks on a website to say it. Fuck yourself! (In an added comic twist, I should mention that the incident occurred on the same day the Senate passed the so-called "Defense of Decency" act. Ha ha.)

Thursday, June 24, 2004

The Real Hussein II

Iraq Without Me
Funny song parody.

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Ashcroft picky about who to protect us from
Sent to me by ex-WVU Chuck.

April 2003, John Ashcroft's Justice Department disrupted what appears to have been a horrifying terrorist plot. In the small town of Noonday, Tex., F.B.I. agents discovered a weapons cache containing fully automatic machine guns, remote-controlled explosive devices disguised as briefcases, 60 pipe bombs and a chemical weapon — a cyanide bomb — big enough to kill everyone in a 30,000-square-foot building.

Strangely, though, the attorney general didn't call a press conference to announce the discovery of the weapons cache, or the arrest of William Krar, its owner. He didn't even issue a press release. This was, to say the least, out of character. Jose Padilla, the accused "dirty bomber," didn't have any bomb-making material or even a plausible way to acquire such material, yet Mr. Ashcroft put him on front pages around the world. Mr. Krar was caught with an actual chemical bomb, yet Mr. Ashcroft acted as if nothing had happened.......

The discovery of the Texas cyanide bomb should have served as a wake-up call: 9/11 has focused our attention on the threat from Islamic radicals, but murderous right-wing fanatics are still out there. The concerns of the Justice Department, however, appear to lie elsewhere.

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

My Dysfuntional Family

I'm at my parents house visiting. My Mom, Dad, Sister Janice and dog live there. I come home late and everyone's asleep. I walk by my parents bedroom and see a note of paper written by my Dad taped to the door. It reads in big letters,
"Keep Out!
No people No dogs.
Including Janice and Dad!"
When I read the sign I laugh hard while struggling to not laugh out loud because everyone's sleeping. It's funny because My Dad and Janice are the only people who live there other than my Mom. I guess Mom really wanted to emphasize the "No People" part by making it very clear who she meant. My poor Dad, he is so whipped that he was forced to write the note, banishing himself from the bedroom. I couldn't contain myself and laughed out loud, which in turn woke the dog up who started barking. Apparently the dog did not read the note because he was in the bedroom with my Mom. My Mom starts shouting at the dog "get out, get out, get out". The dog did not listen, continued to bark and stayed in the room. They have only had him a few months, give my Mom more time and the dog will as whipped as Dad.
Any dysfuntional family stories you want to share?

Saturday, June 19, 2004

"They Killed Him"
So I'm on duty today and this lady walks over and out of the blue says, "they killed him." I give her my patented blank stare, the blank look I give kooky people who think for some reason I'm there for them to talk to about all things kooky. "Paul Johnson". Blank stare on cruise control. "They beheaded him". "oh, the hostage" I say as blank stare turns off, "They killed him? that's terrible, very terrible".
Then she goes on about, how nobody cares. We are not taking it seriously, they wan't us all dead and nobody cares, nobodys angry. I nodded my head in agreement and said, "yea" a bunch of times. Then she starting talking about "them people" (Muslims) and how we need to kill them all, wipe them out. Zzzzzshsheee that's the sound of blank stare re-activating. Then she asks if I knew the stationary store on 1st ave and 82nd. I said, no. She says that, "the taxi drivers stop at the stationary store and kneel on the rug inside and pray, it's sickening". I wondered to myself, that for all this lady knew, I might be Muslim.
Then she looked at me and said, "look at you, you don't even care. All you say is 'terrible', your'e not even angry, hummppthff." She then walked off in a whirlwind of kookines.

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Bush hires private lawyer for CIA leak probe

Substitute the name Clinton for Bush and this would have been such a bigger story. The hyphen "gate" would have attatched itself and the words scandal, illegal, tainted, criminal and treason, would be used galore.
Here is the background story on the public outing of a CIA operative.
So what Senior Administration officials gave Robert Novak this confidential information? We may never know.
prosecutors may be forced to try to identify the leaker through Novak or other reporters. However, journalists pressed by the prosecution could assert a First Amendment privilege to protect their sources.

Why not invoke the power of the Patriot Act to get around that pesky First Amendment? Or use some Abu Ghraib style abuse on Novak to get him to sing?

The Carpeterbagger has some interesting commentary. Here's a sample:
"At the end of the day, it's of keen interest to me to see whether or not we can get Karl Rove frog-marched out of the White House in handcuffs," Wilson said. "And trust me, when I use that name, I measure my words."

Whoa. That's no small accusation. Karl Rove effectively runs this White House and serves as Bush's brain. It's not inconceivable that Rove would talk to Novak and mention that Wilson's wife as part of an effort to raise questions about Wilson's credibility.

Wilson is saying, in no uncertain terms, that Rove committed a felony by leaking classified information as part of a smear campaign against him. If this is true and can be proven, Rove would be in some pretty big trouble. If this isn't true and Wilson is falsely accusing Rove, then, as Kleiman said, Wilson "risks being personally discredited in a way that's very hard to recover from."

Ultimately, Wilson's comments suggest that this story isn't quite dead yet. Wilson noted at the forum that there's still congressional interest in this controversy from several high-profile members, including Sens. Chuck Schumer, Dick Durbin, and Hillary Clinton.

It does, however, put things back in the hands of the political journalists who largely ignored this story a month ago. It's pretty simple, really. A former ambassador who played an important role in the Niger-gate scandal has accused the president's top political advisor of leaking classified information to a sympathetic journalist. Someone -- anyone -- in the White House press corps needs to ask, "Did Rove leak the information or not?"
It's a question that deserves an answer.

Robert Novak attempts to defend himself while I undefend him with comments mixed in.

WASHINGTON -- I had thought I never again would write about retired diplomat Joseph Wilson's CIA-employee wife, but feel constrained to do so now that repercussions of my July 14 column have reached the front pages of major newspapers and led off network news broadcasts. My role and the role of the Bush White House have been distorted and need explanation.

The leak now under Justice Department investigation is described by former Ambassador Wilson and critics of President Bush's Iraq policy as a reprehensible effort to silence them. To protect my own integrity and credibility, I would like to stress three points. First, I did not receive a planned leak. Second, the CIA never warned me that the disclosure of Wilson's wife working at the agency would endanger her or anybody else.
Did you ask? You didn't use the CIA as your source. Shouldn't you have enough common sense that outing a CIA operative is inherently dangerous. Even if no danger exists, it's still inherently wrong for obvious reasons, plus it ruins her career.
Third, it was not much of a secret.
That is no excuse! Just because some Washington insiders, knew her real job, it's still not public knowledge. Only a dumb ass journalist with a sinister agenda, would blow her cover in a newspaper. Rule One in CIA training is that your affiliation to the CIA is NOT public knowledge.

The current Justice investigation stems from a routine, mandated probe of all CIA leaks, but follows weeks of agitation. Wilson, after telling me in July that he would say nothing about his wife, has made investigation of the leak his life's work -- aided by the relentless Sen. Charles Schumer of New York. These efforts cannot be separated from the massive political assault on President Bush.

This story began July 6 when Wilson went public and identified himself as the retired diplomat who had reported negatively to the CIA in 2002 on alleged Iraq efforts to buy uranium yellowcake from Niger. I was curious why a high-ranking official in President Bill Clinton's National Security Council (NSC) was given this assignment. Wilson had become a vocal opponent of President Bush's policies in Iraq after contributing to Al Gore in the last election cycle and John Kerry in this one.
Wilson was originally hired by George H Bush before working under Clinton. Why should who he personally supports politically matter in a job to investigate nuclear proliferation national security issues? Everything I have seen about Wilson shows that he is a professional. Why Pick Wilson for the Job? Wilson has experience with Both Iraq and Africa. As a career State Department official he specialized in Africa and was an Ambassador to Iraq. He has a perfect resume for the job.

During a long conversation with a senior administration official, I asked why Wilson was assigned the mission to Niger. He said Wilson had been sent by the CIA's counterproliferation section at the suggestion of one of its employees, his wife. It was an offhand revelation from this official, who is no partisan gunslinger. When I called another official for confirmation, he said: "Oh, you know about it." The published report that somebody in the White House failed to plant this story with six reporters and finally found me as a willing pawn is simply untrue.

At the CIA, the official designated to talk to me denied that Wilson's wife had inspired his selection but said she was delegated to request his help. He asked me not to use her name, saying she probably never again will be given a foreign assignment but that exposure of her name might cause "difficulties" if she travels abroad. He never suggested to me that Wilson's wife or anybody else would be endangered. If he had, I would not have used her name. I used it in the sixth paragraph of my column because it looked like the missing explanation of an otherwise incredible choice by the CIA for its mission.
So the CIA tells you NOT to use her name and you do it anyway. Asshole deserves to be in prison.
How big a secret was it? It was well known around Washington that Wilson's wife worked for the CIA. Republican activist Clifford May wrote Monday, in National Review Online, that he had been told of her identity by a non-government source before my column appeared and that it was common knowledge. Her name, Valerie Plame, was no secret either, appearing in Wilson's "Who's Who in America" entry.
Dumbass, does her appearance in "Who's Who in America" list her occupation as CIA Operative? I don't think so.

A big question is her duties at Langley. I regret that I referred to her in my column as an "operative," a word I have lavished on hack politicians for more than 40 years. While the CIA refuses to publicly define her status, the official contact says she is "covered" -- working under the guise of another agency. However, an unofficial source at the Agency says she has been an analyst, not in covert operations.

The Justice Department investigation was not requested by CIA Director George Tenet. Any leak of classified information is routinely passed by the Agency to Justice, averaging one a week. This investigative request was made in July shortly after the column was published. Reported only last weekend, the request ignited anti-Bush furor.

Ahhh downplay it as much as you wish but Bush has hired a lawyer, have you?

Monday, June 14, 2004

Eternal Sunshine on a Dirty Mind

In a bookstore yesterday I picked up a book in the Self-Help/Relationship section called, 100 Great Makeup Moves. I flipped it to a random page and the first thing I saw was tip #58 which was titled The Tea Bag Trick. I quickly thought, wow what a great makeup move. Then I read the description and it was about placing teabags under your eyes to prevent wrinkles...It dawned on me that 100 Great Makeup Moves wasn't about sending flowers or writing poetry. It was about that other kind of Makeup.
Ladies, let me tell you. As a relationship makeup move, tip #58 will have most men ready to forgive and forget.

A difference of opinion

Talking to a girl I met in New Orleans, conversations flowing smooth when suddenly, it's on. Girl tells me that she doesn't think that cops and firefighers should get any extra attention when they die in the line of duty. She believes when people are killed it's always a tragedy and cops and firefighers don't deserve special treatment.
I disagreed. Cops and firefighers who die doing their jobs, chose to put their lives in danger to protect others. They rush towards danger when everyone else is running the other way. They deserve the recognition they receive post mortem.
Ironically, the girl used the premise of my very argument to make her own counter argument. She claimed that because cops and firefighers chose the profession they knew what they were getting into, therefore don't deserve any special attention.

Thursday, June 10, 2004

I'd make a cheap pet

I'm positive many people in NYC spend more money on their dogs than it cost to maintain yours truly. Today I was in a fancy cat and dog supply store. I noticed a steady flow of customers paying $110-200 dollars to have their dogs groomed. I asked a store employee how often the regular customers had their dogs groomed. He said, "some once a week, some every 2-3 weeks". I browsed and saw dog leashes selling for $100. Fancy packaged dog treats, doggie toys, doggie clothes, ect. All priced outrageously. In my head the math started clicking and I came to the conclusion that if you took the total cost of decadent doggie maintenance and compared it to how much PAUL spends on himself, I'd lose.
Some examples.

Doggie- Leather Leash $100
PAUL- Leather Belt from side walk vendor - $5
Doggie- grooming $140. Once a week.
PAUL- Hair Cut $10. Not even once a month.

Food and drink:
Most dogs that get pampered in NYC are small. Therefore, they don't eat much and I hope they drink tap water. PAUL'S beverages tend to be a large share of his total expenses.
PAUL wins food and drink (against small dogs at least).
Unless it's gotten to the point that owners give them special over priced doggie water. Then PAUL loses :(

Health Care:
In the last 10 years PAUL has hardly incurred any health care related expenses at all.
Decadent Doggie however, has probably amassed quite the vetinarian bill in the last 10 years.

Daily Walker:
Decadent Doggie - $25 for 2 hours of walking (2 hours is the minimum. When I thought about getting a low maintenance dog for myself, I asked a dog walker how much it was. I said I don't need 2 hours, how about 5 bucks for 15 minutes. Nope 2 hour minimum).
PAUL - $0 PAUL is toilet trained.

Dog Spa Day Care
Decadent Doggie -$32 a day plus tax. Bathing, grooming cost extra.
PAUL- $0 Works out at home and in the streets(like Rocky). And NEVER goes to a spa.

Here are some other ways that decadent doggie costs more than I spend on myself. These don't make sense in a head to head competition.
Decadent Doggie obedience training $$
Decadent Doggie pschologist therapy $$$
Oh no! Decadent Doggies are drinking special water. I'm not just going to lose, I'm going to lose big!!

I had it first, punk!!

Some blogger has stolen the name Experimental Insanity and is using it for themselves. They even have a Copyright 2004. I started my blog Feb 4 2003. The wannabe dates back to Sept 8 2003. Get your own name biiiiiatch!
At least I'm still the number one result for searches on Yahoo and Google. They can't take that away, can they?

PS. How do you like my blogs new look?

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

What ever happened to being humble?
Almost every contestant on competitive reality TV shows are unabashedly full of themselves. It's the one thing Reality TV has in common. From Fear Factor to Elimidate to American Idol to Joe Millionaire. You will find the same over-confident, mean spirited, cut throat, non-sportmanlike, cocky, selfish people.
How often do I have to hear some annoying prima donna say; "No one stands a chance, I'm going to win, these other people should go home because it's over, i'm the best, i'm gonna kick everyones ass, she ain't got it, I got it, blah blah blah".
What's funny and truly pathetic is they make these egotistical declarations as if they are in a vacuum far far away from reality. In reality, they clearly aren't better than the other contestants and in reality are just moments away from losing badly to the players they just dissed.
People who really are better than the other players are just as bad. The days of being humble are long gone, atleast on reality TV.

Shows like Elimidate aren't even about dating. It's a competition of girls trying to outslut one another. That's what every episode I have seen has boiled down to. The show is set up to reward the sluttiest and punish the girl who wants to impress her date with something other than how slutty she can be, for instance, a personality. Every guy I've seen on the show has followed that pattern.
Atleast there is one dating show that is actually about dating,Blind Date.

If reality becomes like reality TV. I am afraid, very afraid.

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

Keep the praise, give us a raise
I went to my first Union rally today. NYC Police, Firefighers and Teachers held a joint rally next to City Hall. The turnout was pretty good, over 60,000. The crowd was pumped up by celebrity speakers, my favorite, Steve Buscemi. He asked how many of us saw the last episode of the Sopranos. I yelled, I wasn't getting paid enough to afford HBO.
Honestly, I don't think these Union rallies have any real effect. The only way to force City Hall to pay up is to strike. Alas, cops aren't "allowed" to go on strike. That has me wondering, what if we did, who would arrest us?

Music Plasma
See how your favorite musicians are related in this music style family tree.

Kerry and the Patriot Act.
Kerry flip flops because:

1. He didn't read if before voting for it.
2. He was outsmarted along with the rest of the Sentate by a crafty Bush and tricked into voting for it.
3. Kerry only cares about the polls and will flip/flop any way the wind blows.
4. After 9/11 the government needed to adopt new security laws immediately. Thus the Patriot Act was created. It is a vast act that covers many bases. Many provisions of the Patriot Act were agreed on by all of congress. Some other provisions some in congress probably felt were questionable. We needed the Act operational quickly to provide for our security against expected future terrorism. So instead of arguing over the finer points for an extended period of time the Patriot Act was passed. Because many in Congress had problems with the Patriot Act it was only passed for a limited time and it is up for re-vote next year.
Now that the initial Patriot Act is in place and our security has been enhanced, members of congress NOW have time to debate the finer points. They can discuss what they don't like about it and changes they want to make.
This is not about flip/flops, not about not reading the document, not about watching the polls. This is about putting the security of the nation first and passing an act some in congress felt was imperfect but better than the alternative of passing nothing and debating while terrorist planned the next attack.


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