Experimental Insanity

SATIRE FROM SCRAPPLEFACE
U.S. Agrees 'In Principle' Not to Attack Iraq
(2003-02-27) -- After United Nations announced that Iraq has agreed "in principle" to destroy some illegal missiles, the White House announced that the United States agrees "in principle" not to attack Iraq.

"Here's the principle," said White House spokesman Ari Fleischer. "America doesn't fight with nations that pose no threat to it or its allies. So, if Iraq fully complies with all U.N. sanctions, we will not attack."

Mr. Fleischer said the Bush administration also agrees 'in principle' to seek a multilateral solution to the Iraq crisis within the context of the United Nations.

"Again, here is the principle," he said. "The U.N. exists to make the world a safer place. So, if the U.N. opposes a tyrant with a proven history of slaughtering his own people and threatening his neighbors, then we support a multilateral approach together with the other member nations. That would make the world a safer place."

Point Counter Point
American Girl "European men are so much more romantic than American men."
VS
European Man "American women studying abroad in Europe are unbelievably easy."

Who is right? I vote for the European Man but we will let the American Girl live her fairy tale.
Too bad this doesn't work in reverse. American un-culture just doesn't turn european women on, damn them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS FROM TODAYS SPOT ON
Kashei writes:
Forbes released its list of the world's richest people yesterday. On it were the usual suspects such as Warren Buffet and Bill Gates. But what's this? Yasir Arafat, President of the Palestinian Authority, is worth at least 300 million. That's funny. I thought the Palestinian people were on the verge of starvation because of the evil Israelis. How can this be? Is Yassir not the upstanding citizen we think he is? Surely not.

Also on the list is Fidel Castro, President of the workers paradise that is Cuba. He is worth over 100 million dollars. Now, am I missing something or is Castro maybe not the man of the people that our elites think he is? I don't remember Barbara Walters questioning his outrageous monetary worth during her gushing interview, do you?

Last but certainly not least, Saddam Hussein is worth over 2 billion dollars. Can the lefties sing me their song again about how evil the west is for imposing sanctions and that THAT is why the Iraqi people live the hellish life they do?
Posted 10:21 AM by Kashei

Way to Go Kashei. Aren't those commie socialist supposed to share the wealth? If Fidel can't be nice and share like a good dictator shood he shouldn't be allowed to rule a country.
The Middle East is a dictators dream. Where else would an educated population allow their leader to steal the nations national resource wealth for himself? Saudi Arabia, Iraq, and all the little Kingdoms are rolling in doe. If I ever become a dictator and want to live filthy rich I am setting up the Dominion of Iscandar in the Middle East.
Yasir Arafat is as corrupt as they come. When the Palestineans get smart enough to get a new leader then peace may have a chance.

America has been the worlds whipping boy for a long time and a lot of people inlcuding myself are growin tired of it. Now it seems the backlash hits the fan.
The American Backlash targets Canada and their Parliament Member for making an off the cuff comment dissing the USA

Basketball player turns her back on FLAG

She has every right to protest against American policy and about social issues in this country. More power to her, that's what great about living in America. I just really wish she would choose to have some class and find a better way to protest than turning her back on the American Flag.
The American Flag is a symbol that represents EVERYTHING about America since the struggle for independence. It represents our history, our values and our people.
By turning your back on the Flag you are saying you hate America and everything about America. I don't think this is what the girl wants to say.
If basketball girl wants to protest she should find a better way of doing it.

Satire news headline from FROM IRONIC TIMES
SCIENCE NASA: Mars Has Water
White House quickly moves to weaken Martian environmental laws.

Seals are their natural food after all. Navy Seals included according to this Great White.

Is it real? Find out at SHARK ARTICLE
Make up a headline for this picture and put it in the comments. An example is mine about Navy Seals.
The Best headline gets a prize!!

MY BEEF WITH THE UN

One sad, yet inherent flaw of the UN is the moral equivalency between all the members. The UN will only chastise, condemn and hold accountable members if there is enough member support for the action. This leads to a disgusting amount of hypocrisy and turns the UN into a sham. Nations with terrible human rights records can gang together and criticize another nations human rights, even if in 'real life' the condemned nation has much better human rights.

The UN is controlled by its members. It will only be as idealistic, pure and worthy as the majority of its members allow it to be. Unfortunately the history of the UN has shown it has not come close to living up to the lofty and idealistic goals of its founding UN CHARTER

This is especially true regarding the rampant anti-Semitic, anti-Israeli sentiment that has permeated itself within the UN. There is a large pro-Muslim, pro-Arab, anti-semetic bloc that wields a huge amount of power in the UN. This bloc constantly gangs up on Israel and the USA for violating human rights and being racist. The worst part about this is the hypocrisy, because they ignore reality, they ignore or even support their own blatant racism and human rights violations. Yet they will never bring attention to this at the UN and since they are the majority they get away with it.

Most of Europe has sided with the anti-semetic camp (make your own assumptions if anti-semitism is alive and well in Europe). The rest of the world remains indifferent and chooses to abstain (didn't indifference let the Holocaust happen?).
In the latest round of hypocrisy and ganging up against Israel at the UN the USA was so disgusted they abandoned the conference.
CONFERENCE AGAINST RACISM

Well at least Israel and the US have Micronesia and the Marshal Islands on their side PACIFIC ISLANDERS FOR ISRAEL Who woulda thunk it?

Jessica Stalker Update
My friend Jessica has a stalker who has been stalking her for over a month. Jessica lives in a Doorman guarded apartment building, normally this would prevent would be stalkers from reaching the intimate levels of stalking, such as the 'late night door knock' but this guy lives in her building.

I met the guy once, and he was very very weird. Not wierd in that "he was very quiet...he mostly kept to himself... he was always very polite... nice to everyone...I never thought he would do something like this" kind of way, but weird in the "Yea there was definatly something wrong with that guy...He always seemed like a psycho....I kind of thought something like this would happen" kind of way.

Current Stalker Threat Condition- HIGH
Color Code Index Alert Level: ORANGE
What do do during ORANGE Alert?

Lock Doors.
Close Blinds.
Do NOT open door if there is a knock but you can't see anyone through the Peep Hole!! This is like the most important rule to stalker survival!! Jessica already failed to follow this rule once, the result was stalker back inside apartment tyring to Kiss her, being fended off. Then asking for a kiss on his forehead ( i told you he was a wierdo) getting rejected again...then pathetically asking for a hug and after not getting a hug, pleading in crazy stalker desperate fashion, "how about a hug but not in a sexual way"
It's a little bit comforting that he is using the phrase "not in a sexual way" while you try to force him out of your apartment.
Reharse the fictional, I have a boyfriend defense

Stay tuned for more thrilling episodes of Jessica Stalker Update

English Tabloid The Sun continues one of Englands greatest traditions.Picking on the French
Interesting TOP 10 List at the bottom.

Organizers of the Antiwar demonstrations squash the voices of Iraqis who only want to be heard at a rally that is supposedly for their benefit. Hypocracy at it's finest!! FULL ARTICLE

'Could I have the microphone for one minute to tell the people about my life?' asked the Iraqi grandmother

I spent part of last Saturday with the so-called "antiwar" marchers in London in the company of some Iraqi friends. Our aim had been to persuade the organizers to let at least one Iraqi voice to be heard. Soon, however, it became clear that the organizers were as anxious to stifle the voice of the Iraqis in exile as was Saddam Hussein in Iraq.

The Iraqis had come with placards reading "Freedom for Iraq" and "American rule, a hundred thousand times better than Takriti tyranny!"

But the tough guys who supervised the march would have none of that. Only official placards, manufactured in thousands and distributed among the "spontaneous" marchers, were allowed. These read "Bush and Blair, baby-killers," " Not in my name," "Freedom for Palestine" and "Indict Bush and Sharon."

Not one placard demanded that Saddam should disarm to avoid war.

The goons also confiscated photographs showing the tragedy of Halabja, the Kurdish town where Saddam's forces gassed 5,000 people to death in 1988.

We managed to reach some of the stars of the show, including Reverend Jesse Jackson, the self-styled champion of American civil rights. One of our group, Salima Kazim, an Iraqi grandmother, managed to attract the reverend's attention and told him how Saddam Hussein had murdered her three sons because they had been dissidents in the Ba'ath Party; and how one of her grandsons had died in the war Saddam had launched against Kuwait in 1990.

"Could I have the microphone for one minute to tell the people about my life?" 78-year old Salima demanded.

The reverend was not pleased.

"Today is not about Saddam Hussein," he snapped. "Today is about Bush and Blair and the massacre they plan in Iraq." Salima had to beat a retreat, with all of us following, as the reverend's gorillas closed in to protect his holiness.

We next spotted former film star Glenda Jackson, apparently manning a stand where "antiwar" characters could sign up to become " human shields" to protect Saddam's military installations against American air attacks.

"These people are mad," said Awad Nasser, one of Iraq's most famous modernist poets. "They are actually signing up to sacrifice their lives to protect a tyrant's death machine."

The former film star, now a Labor Party member of parliament, had no time for "side issues" such as the 1.2 million Iraqis, Iranians and Kuwaitis who have died as a result of Saddam's various wars.

THE IRAQIS would had much to tell the "antiwar" marchers, had they had a chance to speak. Fadel Sultani, president of the National Association of Iraqi authors, would have told the marchers that their action would encourage Saddam to intensify his repression.

"I had a few questions for the marchers," Sultani said. "Did they not realize that oppression, torture and massacre of innocent civilians are also forms of war? Are the antiwar marchers only against a war that would liberate Iraq, or do they also oppose the war Saddam has been waging against our people for a generation?"

Sultani could have told the peaceniks how Saddam's henchmen killed dissident poets and writers by pushing page after page of forbidden books down their throats until they choked.

Hashem al-Iqabi, one of Iraq's leading writers and intellectuals, had hoped the marchers would mention the fact that Saddam had driven almost four million Iraqis out of their homes and razed more than 6,000 villages to the ground.

"The death and destruction caused by Saddam in our land is the worst since Nebuchadnezzar," he said. "These prosperous, peaceful and fat Europeans are marching in support of evil incarnate." He said that, watching the march, he felt Nazism was "alive and well and flexing its muscles in Hyde Park."

Abdel-Majid Khoi, son of the late Grand Ayatollah Khoi, Iraq's foremost religious leader for almost 40 years, spoke of the "deep moral pain" he feels when hearing the so-called " antiwar" discourse.

"The Iraqi nation is like a man who is kept captive and tortured by a gang of thugs," Khoi said. "The proper moral position is to fly to help that man liberate himself and bring the torturers to book. But what we witness in the West is the opposite: support for the torturers and total contempt for the victim."

Khoi said he would say "ahlan wasahlan" (welcome) to anyone who would liberate Iraq.

"When you are being tortured to death you are not fussy about who will save you," he said.

Ismail Qaderi, a former Ba'athist official but now a dissident, wanted to tell the marchers how Saddam systematically destroyed even his own party, starting by murdering all but one of its 16 original leaders.

"Those who see Saddam as a symbol of socialism, progress and secularism in the Arab world must be mad," he said.

Khalid Kishtaini, Iraq's most famous satirical writer, added his complaint.

"Don't these marchers know that the only march possible in Iraq under Saddam Hussein is from the prison to the firing-squad?" he asked. "The Western marchers behave as if the US wanted to invade Switzerland, not Iraq under Saddam Hussein."

WITH ALL doors shutting in our faces we decided to drop out of the show and watch the political zoology of the march from the sidelines.

SATIRE
SUMMIT to Standardize Anti-Jewish Slurs

Long essay, his writing is soooo good it brings me to tears. Essay

Have a female friend that is getting married and the bride to be won't shup up about her wedding?
I found something that will help. Check out this E-Card

• Wal-Mart's sales on one day last fall--$1.42 billion--were larger than the GDPs of 36 countries.
• It is the biggest employer in 21 states, with more people in uniform than the U.S. Army.
• It plans to grow this year by the equivalent of--take your pick--one Dow Chemical, one PepsiCo, one Microsoft, or one Lockheed Martin.
• If the estimated $2 billion it loses through theft each year were incorporated as a business, it would rank No. 694 on the FORTUNE 1,000.
What this means for Wal-Mart's low-profile CEO, Lee Scott, is that he runs what is arguably the world's most powerful companyFULL ARTICLE

WALMART GOOD OR EVIL??? What do you think? I for one think if any corporation could get this powerful I am glad it's Walmart.

Mark Steyn looks at the peace movement through the eyes of an Iraqi.FULL ARTICLE
Why not ask an Iraqi what the disadvantages of stalemate are? As far as Saddam's subjects are concerned, the "peace" movement means peace for you and Tony Benn and Sheryl Crow and Susan Sarandon, and a prison for them. I was in Montreal last week, which has the largest Iraqi population in North America. I've yet to meet one who isn't waiting eagerly for the day the liberation of their homeland begins. Then they can go back to the surviving members of their families and not have to live in a country where it's winter 10 months of the year.

What do you think? The ONION

I am hoping there won't be a war, and the posturing and military buildup is all a big bluff. In the past 12 years we have learned the hard way that Saddam Hussein does not respond to talk, to toothless UN resolutions, to verbal appeals or to sanctions. He could care less about this kind of pressure. What does work is the use of force or the very realistic threat of the use of force. In the last six months the USA has taken a leadership role in the effort to enforce UN resolutions against Iraq. Bush and his true allies have been very forceful in everything they have done.

Threatening war and the consequences of non-compliance is working wonders. Putting a bite behind the bark has made Saddam more cooperative than ever. Suddenly, he lets weapons inspectors back in with much more power than they had the first time. The UN asks for a declaration of his WMD programs and he hands them thousand page report. Saddam is cooperating for one reason and one reason only...to avoid being invaded and losing his power. Of course his cooperation is half assed and he is playing a cat and mouse game.

But as the days tick down and his time is running out, we will probably see him cooperating a little bit more each day. The more he cooperates the more time he buys. He knows most countries in the world will say "look he's cooperating more than before, you can't attack him now" With thousands of Allied forces massing on his doorstep, he is feeling the pressure. His oppressed people sense this and feel his weakness. It's my hope that they will revolt against him and overthrow his regime without America needing to fire a shot. If this doesn't happen then my second hope is that the VERY REAL THREAT OF WAR will make him cooperate enough that the inspections will have a chance at working and Iraq will be disarmed.

Women who report being raped while attending the Air Force Academy don't get any help ARTICLE.

Air Force Academy regulations for Rape.
Rule 1. Boys will be Boys
Rule 2. The women was asking for it
Rule 3. Let guy go using Rule 1. but charge the women with all kinds of technicalities for stiring up trouble by reporting her rape.

Former Iraqi Scientist lays it out.

MANILA (Reuters) - A former top Iraqi scientist said on Tuesday he believed Saddam Hussein had dismantled his nuclear program but was making chemical and biological weapons that were hidden deep underground beyond the eyes of U.N. inspectors.
Hussain Al Shahristani said the Iraqi president did not have the capacity to deliver a payload of the weapons to distant countries but could pass them to overseas cells of supporters which he had built up over the years. FULL ARTICLE

Who still doesn't believe Iraq doesn't have any banned weapons?

Satire Headlines from the IRONIC TIMES
White House Not Worried About
North Korean Nukes Which
Could Hit West Coast of U.S.
Threatened areas voted for Gore.

Does Jacques Chirac and French arrogance have no bounds? FULL ARTICLE
Chirac, like a spoiled brat is trying to bully other countries into falling in line behind the French position by threatening thier EU membership applications.
Chirac said: "These countries have been not very well behaved and rather reckless of the danger of aligning themselves too rapidly with the American position."
"It is not really responsible behavior. It is not well brought-up behavior. They missed a good opportunity to keep quiet."
"I felt they acted frivolously because entry into the European Union implies a minimum of understanding for the others," Chirac said.
Chirac called the letters "infantile" and "dangerous," adding: "They missed a great opportunity to shut up."

Sorry France but contrary to your beliefs you are not the center of the universe. The rest of the world is not at your beck and call, the world will not bend over for you just because you make a childish hissy fit. The other countries in Europe can side with whoever they want and threatening thier membership into the EU is arrogant beyond all belief. Isn't this the same country that is always falsely accusing the USA of this sort of thing?

If my math is right, isn't it 18 european countries siding with the USA vs 3 (if you include Russia) siding with France. Under Chirac's logic, If anyone should be kicked out of the EU for not falling in line, it should be the 4 odd balls. But France and Chirac are to arrogant, self centered, and egotistical to even realize that.

The New York Post gets in Saddam's head in this ARTICLE

In an effort to clarify the color-coded alert system, Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge revised it last week to give Americans things to do as the alert status changes: FULL ARTICLE

JAMES LILEKS is an incredibly good writer. He recently wrote this:

If this war goes like the last one, it’ll play out like this:


Day one: attacks start around 6 PM Eastern time. The first phase is successful, and one-sided.


Day two: relief, confidence


Day three: SCUDS in Israel; horrible horrible film of people jerking on protective gear, TV correspondents with gas masks. I will never forget that sight: welcome to the modern world, it said. Or rather: welcome back. We now return you to the hideous folly of human nature, already in progress.


What I truly don’t understand are the people who wish to kill everyone in Baghdad. And they’re out there. They want to drop a nuke on Baghdad. You heard me right: just take it out. Every man, woman and child turned to ash and gathered into a black pole, rising like a column that holds up the roof of Hell. Naturally, I heard someone espouse this view on talk radio.


That wasn’t exactly what he said - he wasn’t in favor of war at all, and believed that containment was the answer. He seemed to accept that Saddam would get the bomb he dearly sought, but he wouldn’t be crazy enough to use it. (As if the leverage the bomb grants comes explicitly from using it, as opposed to having it.) But if he did use it, hey, he’d get nuked.



Along with several million weeping vassals, but the caller didn’t point this out.



The scenario is flawed - it assumes that a missile stamped MADE IN IRAQ or perhaps QIL-ROAY WAS HERE makes its way over the US, and we let it land, and then we retaliate. That’s hardly how it would happen. Saddam’s possession of nuclear weapons would have two consequences - he invades Kuwait or Saudia Arabia for all that light sweet crude, announces that he has Bombus Maximus, and dares us do anything. Or he gives one to someone who’ll float it into Baltimore harbor and strike a blow for the Arab world. Or both.


Scenario #1: the chances of assembling a coalition to push him back again would be nil. You’ve heard of the Amazonian butterfly whose wings set in motion a disturbance of the air that eventually leads to a hurricane off North Carolina? The fluttering of hands among EU diplomats presented with the possibility of a war against a nuke-armed Saddam would cause typhoons to swamp every island in the Caribbean. Leave him be! Let him alone! He’ll be satisfied now! We can nuke him if sets one off, but he won’t! He’s in the box - granted, the box has now expanded to include a significant portion of the world’s known oil reserves, but it’s still a box, albeit an oddly-shaped, nuclear-armed one.



Scenario #2: there’s no evidence of Iraqi complicity in the destruction of Baltimore. Hence there is no response. Six months later, however, evidence surfaces. Not ironclad, but persuasive.


Anyone think the US would nuke Baghdad under these circumstances? Were we the big bully bent on EMPIRE, we would have nuked them in ‘91 and spent the last 12 years enjoying dime-a-gallon gas. But that’s not who we are. I don’t believe we’d nuke Iraq after the fact if we had persuasive evidence. That’s not how deterrence works. Deterrence relies on an instantaneous, no-questions-asked response. We see your stuff arcing over the poles, we give the signal to the planes and the boomers and the crews sweating deep in the silos: swap-meet time, boys, see you in the next world. The idea of nuking someone half a year after the fact runs contrary to our nature. Mutually Assured Destruction is a horrible machine - but it only works if the other side realizes they’re the ones who’ll turn the key and give it some gas.


And that’s what made MAD acceptable to some, and lent a cold justification to murder on an unimaginable scale: the other side knows that the barrel pointed at the enemy is also pointed at their own temple. Shoot them, you shoot yourself.



Yes, MAD worked in the Cold War.



Bulletin: this is a hot war.


You can almost imagine how it would play out - would the US would take its evidence to the Security Council to ask for permission to nuke Iraq? It’s not ridiculous to think we would, since that seems to be the squinty aperture through which we have to shove all our big hot bricks. But the idea of Colin Powell demanding that the UN sanction a nuclear reply is preposterous - never mind the automatic veto such a thing would get. It’s impossible to imagine Powell calmly requesting that the world bless cold-blooded mass murder. He wouldn’t do it. Bush wouldn’t do it. The Congress, the American people wouldn’t stand for it. The voices that insisted It’s Clobbering Time would be outnumbered 100 to 1 by those demanding impeachment. MAD, in its awful way, was moral because it made the price of immorality too great to consider. But the Containment argument - hey, if he does nuke us, we can nuke him back - isn’t MAD, it’s just crazy. It presumes we could step back, pause, sift through the intel, then kill a few million people to make a point.


We’d never do it. We’d hold televised benefits for Baltimore. We’d all remember the victims of 5/23. We’d buy the DVD compilations of news footage, archive the papers that landed on our stoops the day after. We’d find life returning to normal, eventually - but we’d never feel at ease again. The worst thing ever had happened, and to our surprise the world hadn’t ended. But the world had changed. Our better nature had prevailed - and we were certain to suffer again because of it, right up until the day we lashed out and became everything we never wanted to be.




The good news: that’s not going to happen.



The bad news: we’re going to war, to make sure it doesn’t.

Andrew Sullivan compares peace activist to adolescent teenagers to make a point. Click on link for full article.

When you think about it, this is the behavior of adolescents. Leaders, in contrast, have to take responsibility. No marcher will be held accountable if Lyons or Manchester or Chicago endures a dirty bomb, procured from Saddam. No protestor will be held responsible for a nerve gas attack on the London tube. But Bush and Blair will be. And they should be. That's why, after this mother of all teenage tantrums, the grown-ups will have to reiterate the process, restart the inspections, redouble the threat, and, if necessary, launch the invasion.

Scientists have planted false memories into people's minds in a study that demonstrates just how easy it is to for police to convince people they have witnessed something that did not actually happen. FULL ARTICLE

I think this does happen and it's good to see this study being done. There is a similar phenonemon in which kids will lie to please adults and the kids will eventually believe thier lies. I think it has happened in child molestation cases at day care centers.

Political Humor. I put up pictures because i find them funny and to generate discussion. Pictures and other people's writing that I post do not always reflect my opinion.
Two Faced Bush
Homeland Security

Beach City Offers $13 Beggar Bounty
FROM Oddly Enough - Reuters

HANOI (Reuters) - Vietnam's China Beach, which gained fame as the playground for U.S. servicemen during the Vietnam War, is offering $13 to anyone who turns in a beggar.

"This is our latest effort to clean up the cultural environment of the city," an official from the Danang People's Committee, or the local government, told Reuters on Friday.

He said the beggars would be sent back to their home towns or put in vocational centers. The drive was launched on Wednesday, he added.

China Beach is located in the city of Danang, which is 700 km (435 miles) south of Hanoi.

The beach city received nearly 660,000 visitors last year, up 16 percent from 2001.

The beggar bounty of 200,000 dong is a considerable sum of money for the residents. A third of Vietnam's 80 million people live in poverty, and the country's average annual per capita income is around $400.

What if the beggars took turns handing each other in? They could rotate and get $13 each time. This would have a lot of perks for the beggars. Beggar Joe hands in his buddy Beggar Larry. Joe gets $13 that he will split with Larry. Larry gets vocational training or an all expense trip back home to visit his family and friends. When Larry returns he can hand in Joe. Repeat cycle as neccessary.

This is a wonderful essay titled Escaping "Submission"written by a Muslim women who escaped a fundamental Muslim society in the Middle East and now lives in America.

Here are two excerpts. Please read the whole thing, it is long but great.
I feel alienated from a religion that has sponsored over 30 years of terrorism, and from the flagrant and arrogant Moslem/Arab support of it. My criticism is not directed at the Koran itself, but at the current Moslem culture and community that has handed over control of Arab society to the most extreme, fanatical Wahabi Islamic sect.

The mother of a suicide bomber said "Because I love my son, I encouraged him to die a martyr’s death for the sake of Allah." This woman and many others like her are speaking and living a life that is against the normal impulses of Motherhood. The religious and political indoctrination through tyranny pushed her against herself and her child into insanity.

It's official -- "Star Wars" has created
almost 400,000 Jedis in Britain.


Over 390,000 people wrote "Jedi" on their 2001 census form,
more than those who registered their faith as Jewish, Buddhist
or Sikh in the optional question on religion, the Office for
National Statistics (ONS) said on Thursday.

The Jedis declared their belief after a campaign on the
Internet asked people to "do it because you love Star Wars" or
"just to annoy people."

"Star Wars devotees stated their faith as 'Jedi' in the
mistaken belief that if 10,000 did so it would be recognized as
an official religion," a spokesman for the ONS said.

The census question on religion offered a series of
tick-boxes for the major religions in the UK, including a free
space for "any other religion."

In the films, the Jedi knights are a noble order of
protectors unified by their belief in a universal power called
the Force.


Damn, and here I was all this time thinking I was the only Jedi representative for Earth. I guess I will start Highlander training, so "There Can Only Be One". Me damnit!!

Iraq imposes conditions on U2
Mike Silverman writes:

First of all, they must make sure "New Years Day" is always in the setlist, and Bono has to wear those tight black leather pants...Oh, wait. Wrong U2. No, it goes more like this:
But a U.S. official said the Iraqis have imposed unacceptable conditions on U-2 flights -- demanding the time and point of entry of all flights, their speed and the plane's call signal to ensure communication with the pilot when necessary.
FULL ARTICLE

Iraq needs to communicate with the pilot to instruct him or her where not to fly, you know. Don't want the plane to see anything it shouldn't, eh?

WHAT THE????
On the subway yesterday I heard this god awful sound that scared the shit out of me. I thought I was being attacked by a pterodactyl or something but it turned out to be a women with the scariest case of the hick-ups ever.
It was a sound from the darkest of nightmares, like a screaming banchee from hell ready to take your soul. At first I didn't know where the sound was coming from, I only knew it was close and in the subway car. I looked in the direction of the sound but only saw a pleasant looking women with a slight smile on her face. I heard it again, I got goosebumbs. I walked warily backwards to the corner of the car and heard it again. Now I was sure it was emminating from inside the women.

At the next stop a mother and a little boy got on the train and the little boy sat in the empty seat next to the women. I heard the women tell the little boy that she had a serious case of the hiccups and that it might frighten him. Sure enough, when the silence was broken by a screaching pterodactyl cry, the little boy got up and ran to his mom. Banchee women then explained she had a stomach disorder that gave her those kind of hiccups and she couldn't help it.

If Banchee women is married, her husband is a very brave man. I think I would have a heartattack if I was sleeping in bed one night and heard that awful awful sound in the darkness next to me.

Everyone likes before and after pictures.....
Iranian Revolution
These ones aren't as fun as Gerad's from Subway.

The terrorist who have declared war on the America and Western Civilization want to turn the world into a place like this. Don't fool yourself, this ain't no party this ain't no disco this ain't no foolin around (Talking Heads). They want us dead or to submit to their brand of Islam it's as simple as that. What happened on September 11th wasn't the opening volley of this WAR but it did make most of us understand we are going against an enemy that has been at war with us for a long time. If we do not fight back we very possibly will die. No joke.

Who ever said Geography couldn't be fun?
I put up pictures because i find them funny and to generate discussion. Pictures and other people's writing that I post do not always reflect my opinion.
Map of the Muslim World
But wait there's more!!
American Map of Europe
Not to be out done...The view from the other side.
Axis of Weasel Map of America

Thanks to the Anit-Idiotarian Rottweiler for bringing my attention to these maps.

I was trying to find the NATO web site and typed in www.nato.org and found this website instead Nations Against Terrorist Organizations.

I found this on their page and I agree.
Bush/Cheney 3 step plan to make America weak.

1. Build new nuclear power plants that are vulnerable to terrorist attacks.

2. Cut funding on solar and wind power, which can supply 20% of our energy needs.

3. Rely on more oil drilling and imports instead of funding proven conservation measures.

What's next in their Master Plan?
France, Germany and Belgium want to sacrafice fellow NATO member Turkey in yet another bid to save Saddam Hussein.
France, Germany and Belgium veto proposal to start planning to deploy Patriot air defense missiles, early warning planes and anti-chemical and germ warfare units to Turkey. FULL ARTICLE
Instead of protecting an ally Turkey, France and Germany want to send UN peacekeepers to Iraq to prevent an attack by the Coalition of the Willing. France's face must be still stinging from when Iraq said NO to France's plan for peacekeepers IRAQ SAYS NO. If France was sincerly interested in protecting innocent lives then they would immeditaly take steps to protect Turkey from WMD attack. It's simply a humanitarian thing to do, help an ally prepare for the worst. If France got hit by a Germ bomb, they will be singing a different tune.

To prepare or not to prepare that is the question....
Given the upgrade of the governement terrorist threat condition and all the instructions on what to do in an emergency. I am wondering if I should start preparing for the worst. I live very close to midtown and downtown Manhattan, this of course is a prime target for terrorist. The problem is I live on the 19th floor of an apartment building. The rooms all have large windows and there is not a room I can seal off.
If there is a bio/chemical attack all the instructions tell you to go to your basement or another room you can completly seal off, and to put duct tape and plastic over all windows in the house. I don't have a basement, i'm on the 19th floor. Should I bother to duct tape and plastic over my windows?? will it protect me at all.
I have not stockpiled food or water yet either. Right now my plan is to head to a fall out shelter but I don't know where any are... I tried to find fall out shelters online but had no luck. Does anyone know how to find where the fall out shelters are? I will probably call the town hall and ask them.
Here is the white house guide to surviving terrorist attacks.
White House

Parodies of President Bush's 2004 budget
For a guy who calls himself a conservative he sure has squandered away the surplus Clinton left him.

DELL Dude gets Karmic Retribution for making world suffer with annoying commercials. Busted in NYC for buying pot. Bummer Dude...ARTICLE

CATHOLICS FIND THE VIRGIN MARRY DOWN UNDER
I don't ever want to hear Christian's say other religions are wierd or make fun of them again. If you look at all religions objectively from a non ethnocentric, non xenophobic unbiased perspective, then all religions are wierd. I think Catholics are a little wierder though, but that is just me.
Combination picture shows a woman reaching to touch a fence post (image on right) that some Catholics believe appears as a likeness of the Virgin Mary at a lookout near Coogee beach in Sydney's eastern suburbs February 6, 2003. For more than a week devoted Sydney Catholics have been flocking to a vantage point about 300 metres (1,000 feet) from the small wooden fence which, when viewed at certain times each afternoon through squinted eyes (image on left), is believed to be a likeness of the Virgin Mary. Photo at left was deliberately shot out of focus to give an impression as if a person were squinting.
FULL ARTICLE

Gulf War II Poster

I hope Saddam gives it up or is overthrown so this movie ends up on the cutting room floor

North Korea needs money, nukes are worth a lot of money to rich terrorist, North Korea is making nukes... I don't like how this is adding up. Article
Maybe North Korea will sell nukes to the highest bidder to support Kim Jong's Cognac indulgence.
I saw on CNN People in the News last night that Kim Jong buys $720,000 worth of Cognac a year. Isn't his people dying of starvation? $720,000 would buy about 7,200,000 packs of Ramen Noodle soup to feed the people. It pisses me off that our tax money is being spent to give North Korea food, while thier leader is spending a fortune on Cognac.

If all this saber raddling leads to a new Korean War one group of people will be happy. MASH Fans. MASH Article

I read an article about human shield volunteers via Pandavox that got me all rilled up. Then i read this one and got even more rilled, Article

My question is where were all the human shields during the war in the Balkans? That war was happening in Western Europes back yard. It was a shameful, disgusting war that targeted civilians and spawned the term ethnic cleansing.
Why weren't these people outraged enough to be human shields in that conflict?

They call themselves civilized... peace activist...Yet they didn't volunteer their services against a savage, barbaric war taking place in, oh so enlightened Europe.

They call Bush and Blair: Cowboys and War Mongers, yet, they coddle and protect Saddam Hussein. A ruthless dictator that kills any of his citizens plus their families for speaking out against him.

Why don't they be a human shield for the people Saddam's regime will torture and murder? Why don't they be a human shield for the UN personnel and Western Civilians Iraq says it will take hostage and force into being human shields? Why don't they be a human shield for civilians in Israel that get blown up by suicide bombers? Throw yourself on top of the bomber, you could really be a hero then.

These so called Human Shield Volunteers are nothing more than voyeuristic tourist, day tripping in someone else's nightmare, basking in their delusional moral superiority. The first moment of real danger most of them are going to bail. The ones that stay are so sick and misguided in their convictions that they have lost touch with reality and we are better off without them

Alchohal and Tobacco companies found a new customer.
SQUIRALL PICTURE

After trying in vain to steal some Clusters Cereal (tm), he settled on two new addictions....

Hand Shake Man strikes again. A Christian luny breaches security and hands President Bush a typed message from God.
FULL ARTICLE

The passage at the end of the article will probably have conspiracy theorist going ape shit...
Around 1:30 p.m. yesterday, Weaver had to leave for Reagan National Airport airport to catch his plane home. He was going to take the Metro, but the Secret Service offered him a ride. When last seen, Handshake Man was being frisked, then put in a car by government agents.

Here's what the conspiracy freaks will be saying. Hand Shake man was reprogramed by the CIA or killed and cloned into a government friendly version or better yet, given to aliens or some other nonsence.

SATIRE FROM SCRAPPLE FACE
SCRAPPLE FACE

Patients Fail to Notice Physician 'Slowdown' Protest

(2003-02-03) -- Although more than 1,300 New Jersey physicians staged a work slowdown Monday to protest the high cost of malpractice insurance, patients reported no difference in service.


"Sure, I sat there naked under that flimsy gown for several hours, but what's new?" said Alan K. Seltzer of Paramus, NJ. "I thought protestors did unusual things to get your attention. This was the same old same old."


A spokesman for New Jersey physicians said next week's protest will include ice-cold stethoscopes, withholding eye-contact and illegible prescriptions.

This sounds like an idea I would eventually think up.
But this guy beat me to it. RENT MY CHEST

There have been a lot of arguments over why and why we shouldn't go to War against Iraq.

Reason #1
The main reason we are going to war is OIL - FALSE

Reason #2
The main reason we are going to war is humanitarian, to save the Iraqi people from the oppression of Saddam - False

Reason #3
The main reason we are going to war is the USA's imperialist ambition - False
The USA has no imperialist ambition because if we did then one of two things would have happened.
1. Much of the world would be speaking American today.
2. The world would have suffered a nuclear apocalypse in the battle against American imperialism.

Since the end of World War II American foreign intervention has been for a few different reasons, none of them being imperialistic. They are: containment of communism, humanitarian, national security, protecting the sovereignty of other nations, and fighting drugs.

Reason #4
The main reason we shouldn't go to war is Iraq hasn't done anything. - False

In 1991 Iraq invaded Kuwait. A Coalition force routed the Iraqi army and drove them out of Kuwait. The Coalition could have continued onto Baghdad, removed Saddam and occupied Iraq. Instead a cease fire was signed that ended further aggression. Here's the kicker: The winning side gets to dictate the terms of a cease fire. The Coalition gave their cease fire terms to Saddam Hussein and Saddam agreed to them.

The only reason Saddam is still in power is that he agreed to the terms of the cease fire.
In the 12 years since then, he has continually violated the terms of the cease fire, the big one being his weapons program. He is in violation of a bunch of UN resolutions. In my opinion the first Gulf War never really ended, a peace treaty was never signed. It has only been paused by a cease fire. Once a cease fire is broken, that is reason enough to justify renewed war. Iraq has been violating the cease fire for years with impunity. So Yes, Iraq has done something. They have violated a cease fire that is supposed to protect the world from weapons of mass destruction. I want my protection re-instated.

Reason #5
The main reason we are going to war is to prevent Saddam Hussein from getting or ever using weapons of mass destruction or giving them to terrorists - TRUE

My biggest concern is preventing Saddam Hussein from getting or/and ever using weapons of mass destruction. He is simply an evil man that I have no doubt would use these weapons. Most leaders have a moral guideline and some lines they won't cross. Not Saddam Hussein. He used chemical weapons against Iran and against the Kurds in Iraq. When he used them against Iran he was unfortunately rewarded, when within days after using them on the battlefield Iran signed a cease fire. Never mind that the chemical weapons harmed his troops because of wind direction as much as the Iranians. He tried to assassinate George Bush Senior, this is a scary thought because he must have fully understand the consequences if he was successful, yet he still tried. Diagnosis he is a mad man.

So that being my biggest concern/fear there are a few different ways to achieve the goal. Going to war against Iraq should be a last resort. But if diplomacy, bargaining and weapons inspections aren't working and he is getting the weapons then War is very necessary.

Removing Saddam, freeing the Iraqi people from tyranny, restoring human rights and freeing up oil for the world market is a secondary goal and a side benefit that I am very happy to also achieve at the same time.

Why a Rhino supports buying an SUV

The Honda Civic was too small....
The 18 wheeler was too big....
The SUV was just right....

"ALL CHICKEN IS SPECIAL"
This is what I learned today from the Lunch Lady. The Cashier's in my buildings cafeteria always overcharge me or give me the wrong change. Today was the 2nd day in a row I ordered a chicken wrap from the Deli. On both occasions something OTHER than Chicken was the special. The Special cost more but comes with a drink. The first day i was overcharged, I just thought she screwed up. The 2nd day she did it again, and I stood my ground and said "This is Chicken, I didn't get the Special". She replied, All Chicken is Special. I was dumbfounded by her unbeatable logic. I had no weapon against it... I quietly bowed my head in defeat and payed.

If you know what can beat All Chicken is Special please tell me the secret.

The British have enlisted Snake Mutants to be front line soldiers. Or maybe they had one of thier mad scientist create them. Is it just me or does he kind of remind you of Cobra Commander from GI Joe???
Full Article

Salam is from Iraq. He lives in Baghdad and writes a web journal. It is truly interesting to get a normal Iraqi citizens perspective. I highly recommend visiting his web site.
Where is Raed?

Here is a portion of a question and answer he posted on January 14th about the possible War.
To read the rest Click Here

Do you think there will be a war, what do people think?
That is a tough one, I can't tell you whether there will be war or not. I look around me and see two governments gearing themselves up for it. Someone wise once said "don't look at what a politician's lips are saying, look at what his hands are doing". What it looks like is War. Slow deliberate moves on both sides. One side is entrenching, in what seems to be constant denial of what has happened 10 years before and very probable defeat, the other side, well, we are hearing the words massive, huge and for the first time since [enter your chosen historical war landmark here] too many times. And what do people think? We need change desperately. The few attempts and people who would have had a chance to do something about the way the government is have been ruthlessly eliminated since the late seventies, by the late eighties Iraq was Saddam-land no real challenger was anywhere in site. After the Gulf War there were a couple of uprisings here and there, none were organized properly. All were quickly and brutally wiped out, not only the people involved but all their families. Change is not going to come from inside, unless the government somehow implodes, for example, saddam's death creating a rush and fight amongst possible successors to take his place and giving other parties/people space to act. I am not holding my breath.


I really hope Salam, his family and friends stay safe. I told him he should run for President of Iraq if they ever have free elections. He would make a great President.

Hamza Gloats over shuttle

"HOOK-handed cleric Abu Hamza last night GLOATED over the shuttle disaster and rejoiced in the deaths of the seven astronauts.
The Muslim fanatic called the Columbia crew “thugs of space” who deserved to die.
He denounced the team — made up of Americans, an Israeli and an Indian-born Hindu — as a “trinity of evil” punished by Allah."
Full Article

It's about time many in the Muslim Community and the British public exressed enough outrage toward this guy to finally do something.
It's a fact of life, people with Hooks for hands are evil.

Examples?
Captain Hook
Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget
Candy Man from the horror movie Candy Man
Candy Man looks pretty good next to Butt Ugly Hamza

SATIRE FROM THE IRONIC TIMES
Ironic Times


Here are some of the first laws
the White House hopes to move
through a compassionately
conservative Congress:


1. THE FREEDOM TO WORSHIP ACT

Requires states to provide the
names of all those not regularly attending church.


2. THE PURPLE MOUNTAINS' MAJESTY ACT

Provides tax credits for strip
mining, clear-cutting, mountain
top removal.


3. TODDLER PROTECTION AND CHILD SAFETY ACT

Authorizes first use of tactical
nuclear weapons if an officer in
the field wants to see how they
work.


4. HOME, FLAG AND APPLE PIE ACT

Removes all civil liberties not
specifically removed by the
Patriot Act.